It was super hard to wake up this morning, knowing that I won't ever see him again, knowing that I won't see Lucas's cheeky smile, won't see him acting like a complete idiot creating mayhem everywhere we go. At the same time he was one of those people who will be serious if need be, and he was one of those people who if you upset, abuse, and/ or anger anybody who he care about he will hunt them down. Which is hard to believe because he is like a teddy bear. But I have seam him get worked up about one of the guys who I used to worked with.
Last year when my flatmate died he spent weeks keeping on texting me to remind me that I am worth carrying and that the sun always coming up. He would also try and make sure that I was feeding myself. As he was worried that because I just had a massive scare that I would forget to eat.
Lucas's favorite song was "Back for Good" by Take That, which I have been listening to since I woke up. Well I have been in because Lucas wouldn't want to be trapped in side.
So I went to Fimo and finished my jar, that I was making for the Crisis Skylight member Celebration, I haven't toke a picture I will when I have a chance which will probably will be in September. I also finished the house I started 2 weeks ago.
Then I started and finished a necklace today.
Now I am home. The only thing I ate today is a sandwich, as I can't eat anymore. I only can managed the sandwich. I know it is stupid. Like I know I am not ill, I'm just grieving, I just lost a very close friend. I know he would remind me to eat, that he doesn't want to hear me dying of starvation, but I can't. Well not today. As I only have Rhubarb Crumble in my fridge/freezer.
Anyway going bed.
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