Today I went to see my somebody o basically try and get me out the house more often. One of the things because of where I live and some nights I have to walk back quiet late. Even though it like 7pm but round my area that time onwards for a female isn't safe. So she for me a Panic alarm.
However she asked the police if there any chance I could be given one, because of where I am living I am high risk. However their response was we only give them to victims of crime which is stupid in my opinion. Half of the victims wouldn't be victims if they had a panic alarm on them.
Anyway I asked for a Blue one. Even though I was told that they mainly in pink... I was like that sooo sexist. So I decided to be annoying and asked for a blue one. Anyway I like blue, like come on my favorite colour is Turquoise. I said of not blue then black, I'm so not having pink.
For the rest of the day it was avoiding snacking and eating much. Ad I don't have much in my kitchen, basically it a dessert with like a cactus or two. But at the moment I just hope the money go through tomorrow, because you never know when and if the money going in with this government.
Like there people out there who basically abuse the benefit system, and they don't do anything about it. But then they have to cut on how much people can get for benefits. Then that means the people who really need the money struggle with paying rent and get food in that will least them long enough till next pay day.
Anyway rent over.
Goodnight everybody
Love you
Zanny
Showing posts with label what I've done today. Show all posts
Showing posts with label what I've done today. Show all posts
Monday, 15 January 2018
Sunday, 14 January 2018
Church and YouTube
Today I chilled out for the morning as I was super tried and needed to catch up on sleep, as I had to get up early the past couple of days and haven't had much sleep due to it.
About 3:30pm I headed down to Hope City church for the 5pm. Before you ask it takes me aboard 45 minuets to get to and from Hope City do I need to get there with enough time to at least say Hello to all my friends and find a seat.
Today service was about facing you fears and that we just need to do it and not wait till you not scared of it anymore. Yeah right like I am so not going to do anything that involves jumping and heights. Unless the height involves me being in a plane to a hot country, and jumping, I will be only be jumping for joy for when ETAJ goes on Tour and go to Leicester and to it home town of Sheffield. It will one day. It just have to go to Leicester and Sheffield. It just wrong if it doesn't.
Anyway when I got back at half 7pm I made myself some dinner and watched a couple of YouTube videos by Chris Villain. If you don't know who he is. He a an amazing cosplayer and singer from LA. He creates a lot of music videos as well as cosplays. He done vlogs with his friend, Tyler, Dre and Leo Camacho to name a few.
I've been a fan of his ad been following his work since late 2015 and he never seams to fail on making me laugh. Also he a very few youtubers where they will open his fan mail and post his response on camera.
Anyway it getting late now.
Goodnight
Love you
Zanny xx
About 3:30pm I headed down to Hope City church for the 5pm. Before you ask it takes me aboard 45 minuets to get to and from Hope City do I need to get there with enough time to at least say Hello to all my friends and find a seat.
Today service was about facing you fears and that we just need to do it and not wait till you not scared of it anymore. Yeah right like I am so not going to do anything that involves jumping and heights. Unless the height involves me being in a plane to a hot country, and jumping, I will be only be jumping for joy for when ETAJ goes on Tour and go to Leicester and to it home town of Sheffield. It will one day. It just have to go to Leicester and Sheffield. It just wrong if it doesn't.
Anyway when I got back at half 7pm I made myself some dinner and watched a couple of YouTube videos by Chris Villain. If you don't know who he is. He a an amazing cosplayer and singer from LA. He creates a lot of music videos as well as cosplays. He done vlogs with his friend, Tyler, Dre and Leo Camacho to name a few.
I've been a fan of his ad been following his work since late 2015 and he never seams to fail on making me laugh. Also he a very few youtubers where they will open his fan mail and post his response on camera.
Anyway it getting late now.
Goodnight
Love you
Zanny xx
Tuesday, 9 January 2018
Tuesday with crisis
Today, the charity Crisis Spotlight who are homeless or classed as homeless due to the situation there in for example for me loving in a hostel for Vulnerable women.
This charity helps homeless people to move into long term housing, by building confidence in creative areas, or life skills. Alongside this they help people to find home by giving them a housing couch if they want.
For me I mainly to find confidence by being creative. So today, I did word Art, where we rewrote the classic song that we all sing every New year. As we explained how neither really know the words apart for one or two bits ad then we make up the rest.
Then I carried on doing a cupcake that I am doing out of stained glass. It is hard. As I was doing that my brother Robin showed his face, and we caught up as I think the last time I saw him was before I moved to Sheffield in 2016. It was nice to see him again.
Then it was writing for fun where we had to write a dairy entry every week. You had yo pick a pre-made character, a description, and a goal. I was given a Artist, who terminally I'll who want to lose their Virginaty.
Yeah before you say anything I had to go there. Haven't yet completed it yet. So there still the who losing his virginity. To make it harder, it was set in another time and it couldn't be set in Sheffield. So I chose, 1997 Orlando, Florida. I NEVER BEEN TO THE USA let alone Orlando.
Oh well.
Goodnight everybody
Love you
Zanny xx
This charity helps homeless people to move into long term housing, by building confidence in creative areas, or life skills. Alongside this they help people to find home by giving them a housing couch if they want.
For me I mainly to find confidence by being creative. So today, I did word Art, where we rewrote the classic song that we all sing every New year. As we explained how neither really know the words apart for one or two bits ad then we make up the rest.
Then I carried on doing a cupcake that I am doing out of stained glass. It is hard. As I was doing that my brother Robin showed his face, and we caught up as I think the last time I saw him was before I moved to Sheffield in 2016. It was nice to see him again.
Then it was writing for fun where we had to write a dairy entry every week. You had yo pick a pre-made character, a description, and a goal. I was given a Artist, who terminally I'll who want to lose their Virginaty.
Yeah before you say anything I had to go there. Haven't yet completed it yet. So there still the who losing his virginity. To make it harder, it was set in another time and it couldn't be set in Sheffield. So I chose, 1997 Orlando, Florida. I NEVER BEEN TO THE USA let alone Orlando.
Oh well.
Goodnight everybody
Love you
Zanny xx
Sunday, 7 January 2018
Church, Lunch and Dolly!!
Today I went to the morning service at Hope City Church. Wishing everybody a Happy New Year as it was the first time I seen them in 2018. Also say hello to a few friends who I haven't seen for a couple of weeks because they was in their home city celebrating Christmas and welcoming 2018.
After that me and a friend of mine from church went to Muradukes. Which is a cute little café near the Crucible theatre in Sheffield for son lunch. This café was introduced to me by another friend of mine called Zo. If you haven't heard her sing you been missing out, she got a beautiful singing voice and have a heart of gold.
Anyway me and this was laughing and being wried well us on the way to the café, and at the place. Talking about smarties, food, guys, musicals, our dreams, and also some serious topics like how we coping or coped with our Depression and fear.
This girl her name is Eunice. She gets me, like we bounded over a small tub of Smarties. Like anybody who knows that the why to my heart is through chocolate.
Anyway I wish you a very goodnight sleep.
Love you
Zanny xx
P.s I have finished my Owl his name is Tom...
After that me and a friend of mine from church went to Muradukes. Which is a cute little café near the Crucible theatre in Sheffield for son lunch. This café was introduced to me by another friend of mine called Zo. If you haven't heard her sing you been missing out, she got a beautiful singing voice and have a heart of gold.
Anyway me and this was laughing and being wried well us on the way to the café, and at the place. Talking about smarties, food, guys, musicals, our dreams, and also some serious topics like how we coping or coped with our Depression and fear.
This girl her name is Eunice. She gets me, like we bounded over a small tub of Smarties. Like anybody who knows that the why to my heart is through chocolate.
Anyway I wish you a very goodnight sleep.
Love you
Zanny xx
P.s I have finished my Owl his name is Tom...
Friday, 5 January 2018
Laughs and colouring
First of before you say anything I wasn't planning to stay up that late it just happened. Anyway I was about to go bed at 12:30am when I heard something in the building, and curiosity got the better of me and I went to investigate what the nose was.
It was a member of staff at my place taking down the Christmas tree at 12:30 in the MORNING!! The same member of staff that asked if I ever thought about writing a script. I think they going a bit mad like me writing a script...... About what, and it be a rubbish script. I'm not creative enough to write a script.
Anyway I decided to help out because I thought it was unfair that they asked her to take a Christmas tree down as she doesn't celebrate Christmas she doesn't know how to put up or take down a tree.
The lights were a killer, it took two people 35 mineuts to take down lights what should normally no longer then 10 mineuts. Then as we finishing we noticed it was wobbling, to then find out that one of it legs was WOODEN! a fake tree with a wooden leg.
After that I went bed and chilled out all day when I woke up. Did some colouring in a colouring book I got for Christmas. I started an owl. Still some more to go, but I think he getting some personality in him.
It was a member of staff at my place taking down the Christmas tree at 12:30 in the MORNING!! The same member of staff that asked if I ever thought about writing a script. I think they going a bit mad like me writing a script...... About what, and it be a rubbish script. I'm not creative enough to write a script.
Anyway I decided to help out because I thought it was unfair that they asked her to take a Christmas tree down as she doesn't celebrate Christmas she doesn't know how to put up or take down a tree.
The lights were a killer, it took two people 35 mineuts to take down lights what should normally no longer then 10 mineuts. Then as we finishing we noticed it was wobbling, to then find out that one of it legs was WOODEN! a fake tree with a wooden leg.
After that I went bed and chilled out all day when I woke up. Did some colouring in a colouring book I got for Christmas. I started an owl. Still some more to go, but I think he getting some personality in him.
What do you think? I know the quality of picture isn't great but it the best I can give you. I going to do a bit more tomorrow.
Anyway goodnight everybody
Love you
Zanny xx
Thursday, 4 January 2018
Quite day but reflecting on 2017
Especially with Everybody talking about Jamie. Which even reading the book of the script makes me want to cry. The storyline, the characters, the reason I first was introduced to the musical, the songs, and best thing is the friendship I made with everybody in the show at the creative time.
Today I made a little poster with song lyrics from a couple of songs, so when I feeling super down and feel like I'm on my last leg. I can look up to that, and be remained of Jamie and "what would Loco Channel do?"
Also a lot of my friends been saying how strong I was in 2017, but in all fairness you guys were my rock, if I didn't have any of my friends, then like 200% I wouldn't of welcomed 2018 in.
I had next to no more then likely no self esteem or worth. Lot of anger, and guilt inside of me. Even though I am working on those and trying to find the beauty within me and see myself as beautiful (even though I know you all need glasses to that as I don't see it). It is getting better really slowly.
Goodnight everybody
Love you
Zanny xx
Tuesday, 2 January 2018
New blog, but the same
Hello and welcome to Zanny's life. You might be wondering why the new blog. Well long story short, the internet is rubbish, and try using a rubbish internet when at the busiest 16/17 people are using it.
I know hatic hey. Well it not going bed stop me to writing my blog. However even though I am going to push through the sad and pain, this month of January isn't easy for me. Especially on the 24th, due to the fact that it will be my flat mate and friend, 1 year Anniversary since she was found dead in her room, feet away from were I was sitting on my bed.
So even though I am going to try, I am can't promise that the post that day will be any good or if there be one. The worst thing was sh was 21 when she passed away.
I going to be strong though, as I know that she wouldn't want me to be upset, angry or lonely on that day. She would want me to be happy and she want me to spend it with my friends.
I just don't want to tell my key worker about her anniversary coming up, as I don't want her or any other staff at the place I am living, because then it going to be a lot harder to cope.
Anyway, I went clothes shopping, and got a nice dress from Primark near the Moor Market in Sheffield. It long sleeved which for me is a place because I hate my arms well showing the scars on my arms and I always hide them.
Time for me to get ready for bed so goodnight everybody.
Love you
Zanny xx
I know hatic hey. Well it not going bed stop me to writing my blog. However even though I am going to push through the sad and pain, this month of January isn't easy for me. Especially on the 24th, due to the fact that it will be my flat mate and friend, 1 year Anniversary since she was found dead in her room, feet away from were I was sitting on my bed.
So even though I am going to try, I am can't promise that the post that day will be any good or if there be one. The worst thing was sh was 21 when she passed away.
I going to be strong though, as I know that she wouldn't want me to be upset, angry or lonely on that day. She would want me to be happy and she want me to spend it with my friends.
I just don't want to tell my key worker about her anniversary coming up, as I don't want her or any other staff at the place I am living, because then it going to be a lot harder to cope.
Anyway, I went clothes shopping, and got a nice dress from Primark near the Moor Market in Sheffield. It long sleeved which for me is a place because I hate my arms well showing the scars on my arms and I always hide them.
Time for me to get ready for bed so goodnight everybody.
Love you
Zanny xx
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