I really need to stop listening to love song, song about falling in love, being in love, falling out of love or being in love with someone who doesn't love you back.
Even though I am one of the four at the moment. I am coming to the point in my life where I need to accept that I will end up dying alone and need to accept that will be OK if I do.
Like if a man come into my life great, but I need to stop looking for love, because at this will be single for my whole life, like I know I will be letting two of my dreams go of getting married and starting a family.
The reason I am saying this is because I see people falling in love. Getting engaged and starting a life together. It hits me that their children are more likely to get married before I do. To be honest who would want a life with me. I know I wouldn't choice me.
It took a couple of days of crying at night to understand that nobody would want me. I know it is harsh, but isn't it better to face the truth that I going to die without the knowledge off being in a relationship, the knowledge off raising a family. Then to face it when I am old and alone.
So before you all talk I am doing myself a favor, but I am not saying that I won't keep my heart open for the chance of love, but I not pinning high hopes of finding the men where I can spend the rest of my life with.
Anyway got to go
Goodnight everybody
Love you
Zanny xx
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