Hi

Thank for all the support I've been receiving. You guys are the reason that I keep on fighting for my life. You are all have a special place in my heart. I can thank each one enough. I know that I'm going through a rough patch at the moment in time. With bad thoughts so thank you for reminding me that I am special, and that I have something to give. 

I honestly need to stop fearing life, and stop worrying about life and take life as it come. Which I know going to be hard but I need to stop over thinking about things.

There been load of wedding talk lately. It got me thinking about what sort of wedding if and when I will get married. I know It will be impossible that I'll get married. Like nobody will date me let alone.

If I do get married. I know it a simple wedding, with probably no more then 120 wedding guest. I want in to be in a historical building. I would love somebody to walk me down, but I don't have anybody in my family who I can think of anybody to give me away.  It not important anyway as I know I will never get married, I will be single forever, nobody love me and will never will.

Anyway enough talking about weddings as I will so scared for being on my own for ever. Which I know I will so need to stop fearing being single my dying day.  So I need to face it sooner or later.

OK I really stop about weddings now.

Anyway I had a nice time at church this afternoon, we had a pastor from a massive church called C3 Brooklyn. It was an amazing service and had a beautiful time with my friends. As afterwards we had another BBQ. So sun, food and friends. What more can I ask for in life.

Anyway it 10pm so I better get going now.

I wish you all a goodnight

Love you.

Zanny xx