I honestly don't know what to talk about today. I have so many feeling going through me. Yet I can't think I can express them. I think this is down to me always trying to be somebody who I'm not. I always try and make people happy despite if I'm feel like jumping of a bridge myself. Which in all fairness I have considered serval times this week. Including today.
From this I got myself a bad ankle from kicking something I expecting it to be soft, but wasn't. This was out of pour anger with myself. I wanted the counseling sessions I go to to at least help me. I just feel like instand of feeling better, I feel worse.
I feel angry that I couldn't help my flat mate who passed away. I know that probably sound stupid. As I couldn't help me. I couldn't of known what was happening in the room next to me. All I had one the 24th January 2017 was the sense something not right, and that I should check it out. However I just blamed it on the cold pizza I had for breakfast that morning.
I guess I having a lot of emotions I'm going through at the moment. I'm not one to talk about emotions in fear that people will laugh at me. So I just normally put on a mask and act like everything alright when I know deep down I'm not alright. My life a living nightmare.
Anyway got to go.
Goodnight everybody
Love you
Zanny xx
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