I chilled out most of the morning, until 11 where I had a one to one with my key worker. Where we made a wellness toolbox for my depression. I just decorated a shoe box with nice paper and ribbons. After I did that I put items in there which make me happy. So I put in;
- Some herbal tea bags
- Two wands one from when I went to the studio tour in London, then the other one is from a friend.
- I put a stress ball in there as well because when I am depressed, I get angry so I throw that against the wall and catch it.
- I also put the only picture of my dad in there, as I just picture what it like to have a dad and having a father figure.
- Then I put my Jamie Program in from the west end, as that was when I was the most happiest in my life since about about 10/11 years ago.
- I also put the script and CD of everybody talking about Jamie, as an I got them for Christmas. I so wanted to cry of happiness of course but I had to stop myself. As I couldn't believe it. When I got home from being out I just cried as I was listening to the CD.
That all I put in. After that me and a house mate went to meet a friend of mine in the peace gardens where we then went to Marmaduke and had a cola and a Cheesecake. It was nice in town.
However when me and my housemates when we was walking home, there was this guy in his car. Trying to get us to come over to him. We didn't know him so we just carried on but then he kept on following us. Now both of us have history with people following us and be sexually harassed by men. So we was in a right state and we are both scared and shaking like mad.
Anyway got to go as I really need to calm down because now I am all worked up that the man who followed me and my housemate is outside. Which I have no prove of.
I just feel like I want to be on my own but I don't feel safe, I just feel like I going to do something stupid cause of the voices in my head.
Any way I wish you a goodnight
Love you
Zanny xx
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