About a month

For about a month now I have this odd sense that I don't know who I am as a person. A lot of my friends say I am strong in the sense I am brave but I don't feel it. I just feel week.

Even though I didn't know myself completely, when I was a teenager. Mainly in year 10 and 11 though. However I could still say that me and describe my self. It is like I am in a different body and I have to learn everything about this one.

So for the past month I been learning about myself and trying found out who I am as a person. If you reading this and you know me on more a personal level. It would be really helpful to me to try and get to know me if you tell me what you think of me, or even who I am or a person, traits you notice about me, that could be personality or physical.

Here a few things I learnt about myself

1. I'm not brave, I'm just a fighter. I just trying to fight the fear the I have and carry on despite being scared. There have been times where I feel like I am going to loose, and there have been times where I have nearly lost.
2. I'm a hopefully. I just hopefully that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even when there is still a speck of light of light, in a tunnel that feel like it can go on for miles. I will be hopeful that if I keep on walking, doesn't how tired I get, one day I will get there.

That the only things I know about myself apart from that, I don't know. I just feel like a stranger to my self. It honestly annoying. I currently listening to Beautiful from the musical beautiful. One of the lyrics are "you are as beautiful as you feel." At the moment it feel like a pig is better looking then me.

It annoying, I am tired of thinking that of myself, however it is true how I feel. I know I'm not beautiful, but I need to start believing that it shouldn't matter, as it should be on the inside that count.

Now got to go.

Goodnight everybody

Love you

Zanny xx