Stay strong, they say. However getting closer and closer to the 24th I can feel the pain of grief and the anger of guilt inside I shouldn't posses, grows.
It not easy going around town, seeing my friends and have a smile on my face, when right now it feels like a knife cutting inside my skin. Keeping on reminding me that my friends and flatmate death coming up.
It just shouldn't of been possible that a 21 year old perfectly healthy to just die. The worst thing for me, that all that we know. Nobody kept us informed.
I was so confused on that day, as I was the only person in the flat, feet away. Our rooms was right next to each other. Then I had to sit in the reception area for about 3 hours sitting quietly. Now and then getting questioned still unknown what happened.. My other flatmate was at university. When they moved me to a new flat about 4pm they told me on my own. I had nobody. All I remembered that they day about 10am.
On the 24th going to be so hard, to be honest... I don't know if or how I will cope. I hope I will cope because I know that she will. She was such a confident, funny, smart girl.
Anyway I better say goodnight
Love you
Zanny xx
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