Today I wanted to do more damage then burning my wrist. Why can't I just not think of these things, because after I self harm. I always feel stupid.

The antidepressants tablets don't help. They just make me want to sleep. I just need to think of things to keep my mind busy, away from the thoughts of self harming and suicide.

It always the same thoughts. Which are that I am ugly, stupid and unloved and I'm better off dead.

With the better of dead I thought today maybe I'm right that I am, nobody will noticed that I am. Then the fear not guilt and stupidity in my head, so it been a on going battle with death, guilt and stupidity running in my head.

I just need to get out of it.

Anyway I wish you all a goodnight.

Love you

Zanny xx